Mighty Girl
My face.

contact: maggie at mightygirl dot net

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I read:
Bryan Mason
Heather Armstrong
Matthew Baldwin
Sarah Brown
Heather Champ
Matt Haughey
Eden Kennedy
Jason Kottke
Merlin Mann's 5ives
Obscure Store and Reading Room
Post Secret
Andrea Scher
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Evany Thomas

If you're a woman, you must visit this site. It teaches you how to pee standing up. I'm talking about peeing just like a guy, without removing your clothes. The quote on the front page by Judith Lewis of L.A. Weekly says it all, "Far and away the most practical information regarding the female anatomy I've run across in years. Who knew?" Next we'll be writing our names in the snow.
12:14 p.m.
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A cure for extinction:

BRIGHTON, Tasmania, Aug. 21 — A sign by the small enclosure near the Bonorong Park Wildlife Center entrance says “Tasmanian tiger,” but the fabled carnivore is nowhere to be seen. The last known Tasmanian tiger, or thylacine, died in captivity in 1936, but a team of Australian biologists believes the animal’s extinction may simply be a 70-year hiccup. DNA from a Tasmanian tiger has been found, and cloning is under way.

The rest of the article is here.
3:24 p.m.
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Just got an email that read:

Definition of "truncate" from dictonary.com:
Appearing to terminate abruptly, as a leaf of a tulip tree or a coiled gastropod shell that lacks a spire.

or better,

Appearing to terminate abruptly,
as a leaf of a tulip tree
or a coiled gastropod shell
that lacks a spire.
12:16 p.m.
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Did you read about the mother of a Kursk sailor who was sedated while criticizing a Russian official? There's a photo of a medic jabbing her with a needle as she collapses. Boy, that Putin is a PR wiz.
2:18 p.m.
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This is an excerpt from Brad Kloza's "Decoding the Official Soundtrack of the Democratic National Convention."

Occasion: Speech by Tipper Gore

Potential First Ladies choose one cause to devote their time to should their husbands get elected. The DNC needed to select a song in synch with Gore's mission: understanding and caring for America's mentally ill. Gloria Estefan's "Turn the Beat Around" does just that.

The Estefan song has become an anthem for mental illness understanding and caring since it appeared in "Sweating It Out"—episode #129 of "Beverly Hills 90210," a popular program formerly broadcast on the Fox television network. During this episode the characters Kelly and Valerie attend a psychology seminar. Valerie laughs off the professor's philosophies and decides to leave, but Kelly takes his words to heart because of her recent experience in a fire, where she suffered burns on her wrist, ear, and the side of her neck. "Turn the Beat Around" was a featured song in this episode, and drove home the fact that Kelly's lingering fear and associated mental concerns were assuaged, or, if you will, turned around, with the help of a licensed psychologist.

Estefan, who is as reclusive as J.D. Salinger, author of books such as The Catcher in the Rye, refuses to comment on the metaphors in her song, but countless critics have persuasively argued that "beat" is code for "mind" while "turn" translates to "cure." It does not escape their notice that Estefan entered the University of Miami in 1975 with the dream of becoming a psychologist. True, she tossed this dream aside during her freshman year, when she joined a precursor of Miami Sound Machine, but still this can be no coincidence. And surely Estefan had Freud on her mind when she wrote the lyrics for "Turn the Beat Around." To wit: "Flute player play your flute 'cause / I know that you want to get your thing off."
11:30 a.m.
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If you've got Photoshop and a spare half hour, you can erase your ex-boyfriend from the family photo. Presto, George was never at Lake Winnemuck. Now, live video can be edited the same way, but here's the creepy part. It can be edited in real time. This allows producers to insert ads on the walls at ball games or completely delete a person who "shouldn't be there." The implications? "Here's footage of the field in question. As you can see, there aren't hundreds of dead civilians here. Oh no! Just another day in old Kosovo." Yikes. This article has more info.
3:59 p.m.
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According to the Useless Facts site:

All of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.
The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.
Charlie Brown's father was a barber.
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
Octopi have gardens.
4:04 p.m.
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Just realized something. I really don't like people coming into my cube unless a) They're my very good friend or b) I'm in the ongoing process of hitting on them. However, people who aren't in either of those catagories always wander in to stand in back of me while I type. They ask, "Whatcha upto? Hey, Maggie, whatcha upto?" Of course, they already know what I'm up to because... they're reading my screen. They also like to move stuff around and say, "Hey look! Your Pez dispensers are having sex!" Then I have to put on my that's-really-funny! face so they'll leave.
11:43 a.m.
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Ugh! Have you eaten within the last hour? Then wait awhile before you visit the Ugliest toes contest, a link I stole from Swallowing Tacks blog.
2:09 p.m.
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Yo mama jokes from McSweeny's:

Yo mama so poor...
she can't afford a Christmas tree so she goes and finds a sad little twig in the yard and cuts out construction paper ornaments so that she can bring just a glimmer of light to her children's Christmas celebration.
1:47 p.m.
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I was reading a women's magazine article about how to dress flatteringly. It had tips for women who have issues with their torsos--too long or too short. Apparently I missed that chapter in the chick book because this is a whole catagory that I don't obsess about. I know lots of women who worry that their boobs are too small or thier butt is too big, but I have never, ever heard two guys at a bar say:

"She's hot."
"Yeah, but her torso's all messed up."
"Whoa...you're right. I didn't notice until she took off the jacket."
11:57 a.m.
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I just read a fantastic statistic in Time Magazine. Apparently, only 6 percent of brick and mortar CEOs would eat another human being if they were starving and stranded. However, 23 percent of Internet startup CEOs said they'd break out the carving knives.
10:02 a.m.
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These guys dress up in cell phone outfits and smash peoples' phones. A hidden third party catches it on video .
12:28 p.m.
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Everyone was sneezing on the bus this morning. The guy behind me kept coughing, and I could feel the little bursts of tepid lung-air on the back of my neck. I kept thinking about that Stephen King book where everyone in the world starts getting colds and then all of them die, except there's a few hundred people left who form two camps. One is good, one is evil, and near the end of the book they have a battle royale for the fate of humanity.
11:49 a.m.
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I found an article on Slashdot about the possibility of using bacteria in semiconductors to create "biotransistors." Powering machines with the energy of living things kinda creeps me out.

9:44 a.m.
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