Mighty Girl
My face.


contact: maggie at mightygirl dot net

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9.30.03 NEAL POLLACK AMUSES ME
He says, "Several stories have been lost in the media frenzy over President Bush's noble and controversial stand against the sexual enslavement of children..."

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9.30.03 JOYFUL NOISE
I love noisemakers; siren whistles are my favorite. They make a happy noise that sounds a little like... a siren, WHOOOOOOPPWEEEEEENNUUUUuuuuuuuuu! I ordered some for the wedding, and was giddy when they arrived. I opened the box and ran my (thoroughly washed) hands through the wealth of siren whistles at my disposal. Then I grabbed a shiny silver whistle for a trial run. I brought it to my expectant lips and gave it a go. The whistle coughed and then responded with a weak, fweeeeee. It sounded not unlike a dying baby seal. They're so bad that Bryan and I have taken to blowing on them sarcastically.

"I've scheduled our appointment for the honeymoon innoculations... fweeeeeee."
"I can't wait until Schwarzenegger is our governor... fweeeeee."

The things actually seem to be wheezing. Of course, now we find them so amusing that we've become attached. This means that we'll most certainly be exiting the church to a chorus of fweeeee.

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9.25.03 POTENT SECOND-HAND SMOKE
Walking past a head shop on the Haight, I notice a Maneki Neko (Chinese lucky cat) in the window. This one is made of plastic and is battery operated, so the raised arm moves up and down. As I pass, the cat's arm movement is perfectly timed to the music blaring out of the shop's door. For the moment, Maneki Neko is rocking out.

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9.25.03 HABITS AS THEY FORM
Public pipe smoking has always seemed like a misguided pretension to me, one that's especially odd in a younger man. A pipe-smoker in his twenties may as well stand on a corner shouting, "Look at me everyone. Observe my young yet thought-worn brow. I thoroughly enjoy Yeats!"

That said, yesterday I saw a guy in his early twenties parking his motorcycle. He removed his helmet, reached into his bag, and pulled out a pipe. Leaning against the bike, he packed and lit the pipe, and took a few puffs. Only then did he finish parking the motorcycle, and head inside with the pipe anchored in his jaw. So I was forced to wonder about his deal for a while. Which, I suppose, was the point.

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9.25.03 GOOD WORDS
manque--unfulfilled or frustrated in the realization of one's ambitions or capabilities

somatize--to express psychological conflict through bodily symptoms

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9.22.03 THINGS THAT HAPPENED AT MY BACHELORETTE
  • Had three seemingly innocent cocktails at the hotel. Noticed I was having trouble balancing. Turns out Vodka, Tequila, and Watermelon Schnapps (with a twist of lime) are pinkly delicious.
  • Almost climbed into a Toyota--occupied by a family of four--because I was under the mistaken impression that it was our cab.
  • Climbed into an actual cab with aforementioned Pink Terror cocktail in hand. This was less of a problem than you might expect, as the cab driver already had a bottle of beer in his cup holder.
  • Danced with another bachelorette's giant inflatable penis.
  • Thanked my dear friends for not making me carry a giant inflatable penis.
  • Danced with a bridesmaid near a wall of cheering Latin gentlemen. When one of us tipped too far off vertical, said gentlemen caught us, tilted us upright, and resumed cheering.
  • Wore a pink, leopard-print G-string on my head.
  • Accidentally sprayed cherry-flavored whipped cream all over a friend's blouse.
  • Assured my roommate that it was fine that she was making out with my high school sweetheart, who happened to be dressed as a very unattractive woman for the evening.


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9.18.03 OVERHEARD
Scenario: A 13-year-old girl in a thrift store holds up a trucker cap, showing it to her approximately 20-year-old shopping companions.

Girl: What do you think?
Guy: Of that?
Girl: Yeah!
Woman: For what?
Girl: For, like, wearing.
Woman: Are you serious?
Girl: Yeah. (Puts cap on.)
Guy: It's ugly.
Girl: You don't like it?
Guy: No. It's ugly.
Woman: He's right.
Girl: These are, like, really cool right now.
Guy: No they're not.
Woman: It doesn't look good on you.
Girl: Are you sure?
Woman: Very, very sure.

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9.17.03 STUFF I LEARNED FROM READING
  • How to figure out when it's your dream. From O Magazine's interview with Salma Hayek:

    Salma Hayek: ...This is one thing I learned: How do you recognize what is your true dream and what is the dream that you are dreaming for other people to love you?
    Oprah: How?
    SH: The difference is very easy to understand. If you enjoy the process, it's your dream.
    O: Correct.
    SH: If you are enduring the process, just desparate for the result, it's somebody else's dream.

  • I want to read Common Shock by Kaethe Weingarten. O's book reviewer describes the premise like this: "In a society rampant with binary thinking--good versus evil, us versus them--how do we move toward understanding and forgiveness of those who are different? How do we hold onto hope and let go of fear?"

  • I've been watching too much T.V. Painter Robert Henri says, "You can do anything you want to do. What is rare is this actual wanting to do a certain thing: wanting it so much that you are practically blind to all other things, that nothing else will satisfy you."

  • North Koreans are living in an Orwell novel. From this week's New Yorker, "Alone in the Dark" by Philip Gourevitch:
    "Pyongyang is North Korea's model city, full of model schools and model hospitals and model people: residence is reserved for the Party's chosen, the political and military elite, the commissars and cadres and their most faithful followers, and the population is regularly cleansed of those deemed ideologically lax, as well as the old, the sick, the disfigured, and the lame, who are banished to the provinces and replaced by a fresh crop of loyalists."

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    9.16.03 APERTURE
    Jish put together a sandcastle-building party last weekend. Heather, who is a very inspiring person to have around, set up her pinhole camera and took a lovely photo of me.

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    9.15.03 ANIMISM
    Whenever I change from TiVo back to live TV, the station is invariably tuned to "RV Today" or a Cantonese news program. I'm pretty sure our TiVo is a 75-year-old Asian man.

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    9.12.03 RIP
    Urban Outfitters is selling a sock-monkey wearing a T-shirt that says "Punk's Not Dead." This, of course, put the last nail in the coffin.

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    9.10.03 OVERHEARD
    Scenario: Two junior high-age girls chat over coffee. Their thoughts turn to love.

    Don't go out with him just because you want a boyfriend.
    Weeeell.
    He's shallow.
    Shallow is a whole other thing.
    OK.
    If you tell anyone...
    I'm not gonna tell anyone.
    OK, I swear, if you tell them.
    I'm not gonna tell. You have a ton of dirt on me.
    True. Anyway, it's not hugely liking, but ... I like him.
    That's awesome.
    Yeah, but I'm not gonna tell everyone.
    You should tell him.
    You're not gonna tell them.
    Everyone knows.
    Yeah, but you're not gonna tell them.
    There's nothing to say. Everyone already knows.
    You're not gonna say that. I'm going to tell him myself.
    No you won't, you won't do anything about it.
    Yes I will. And if you tell, I'll tell your stuff.
    No you won't.
    Yes, I will.
    Please. I haven't done that much.
    Well, I'll dig up more dirt on you, or I'll lie and say you did something really bad.
    Whatever.
    Seriously. Dooooooon't tell.
    Then you have to tell.
    I wiiiilllll. Don't tell.
    Then you have to tell.
    Don't.
    Then you do it.
    Just don't.
    ...
    Okaaaay? Doooooooooon't!!!
    ...
    Seriously. Don't.

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    9.09.03 NEW STUFF
    I have a new wedding series article up at The Morning News. It's called Wedding Guide, Part III: Wedding Party Responsibilities.

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    9.09.03 YOU SHALL KNOW OUR VELOCITY
    I've been sick for a week. This gave me a chance to finish Dave Eggers's latest book. I also watched several episodes of "Newlyweds" the new MTV reality series. If you have some spare time, allow me to recommend the book. My favorite parts:

    "Passing a middle-aged couple in matching jackets:
    --You two need to change.
    --What? Why? the middle aged couple said, to my head, in my head.
    --Because you are wearing the same jacket.
    --We bought them while on vacation in Newport.
    --You must be hidden from view.
    --The jackets are nice.
    --They are not nice. You must change to save us all."

    "--You, on the motorcycle.
    --Yes.
    --It's only a matter of time.
    --I know."

    "I would know that in any city, at an hour like this, there are people sleeping. That most people are sleeping. But that in any city, in any cluster of people, there are a few people who are awake at this hour, who are both awake and dancing, and it's here that we need to be."

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    9.2.03 OOPS
    If you came to mightygirl.net and found it missing this weekend, that was my bad. My spam has quadrupled in the past few weeks, and I somehow managed to delete my "domain expiring" emails without a second glance. Bryan spent many hours this weekend getting me up and running again (thanks, mister), while I addressed invitations. I now own mightygirl.net for the next ten years. Next time this happens, I can blame it on the kids.

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