Mighty Girl
My face.


contact: maggie at mightygirl dot net

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3.31.04 BUSY
I'm sorry for the silence, it's been a busy few days. First there was Bryan's birthday, then we both did some work for the John Kerry campaign fundraiser in San Francisco.

This was the first campaign event where I got a staff pin, or as I call it, a "don't shoot me" pin. It's a little metal badge you wear on your lapel that tells the Secret Service that you're a goodie. Part of my job was distributing hotel information to the campaign staff hotel rooms. I'd passed the Secret Service room a few times, making sure to face the open door so they could see my pin and ID.

After about the fifth time passing the room, I figured everyone inside had seen me, so I just walked past. Friends, you don't want to do that. That makes several polite, well-trained people in dark suits very curious about you. By "very curious" I mean "within a foot of you without you knowing it in under 1.5 seconds." And that's the kind of thing that will make you swallow your tongue when you turn around. Trust me.

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3. 24.04 SUPERIOR SCHWAG
After blogging for more than three years, I finally made some T-shirts. I made them mostly because I wanted one for myself and figured you might want one too. They're risque, but you're no milquetoast. So, without further ado...

Maybe you run like a girl, throw like a girl, catch like a girl. But there's one more thing you do like a girl, and no one's complaining about that.

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GETTING HELPFUL
The Morning News just published my second article in the Virtue series. It's called "Virtue: Volunteering from Home." Read it and go do good.

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3.23.04 MULTICULTURAL
Bryan and I are going to Amsterdam later this year, so I need to pick up a Dutch phrasebook. I want to learn a few key phrases like, "I seem to be bleeding from my ears," and "I don't speak Dutch." Bryan points out that it's funnier to use a more complex phrase when you're telling someone you don't speak their language. We kicked around a few ideas. "I'm terribly sorry, I can't understand you. Dutch is, most unfortunately, not my native language," and so on. We finally settled on, "I offer a halfhearted apology for not understanding Dutch. I'm American, so I didn't bother to learn your little language. Where is the nearest McDonald's?"

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SxSW MEMORIES
Our flight out of San Francisco was delayed and we had to go through multiple security check points before we finally got on a plane. At said checkpoints, they make you drink any fluid you have in your carry on to prove it's not bomb-related.

Bryan: Do you have the flask on you?
Me: I packed it. I didn't want to have to swill vodka before 8a.m.
Bryan: Until tomorrow.
Me: Exactly.

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3.12.04 SxSW
I won't be posting again until next Thursday, because I'll be in Austin for South by Southwest. If you see me there, come say hi. I'll be the one with Margarita salt all over my face.

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3.12.04 BLUE-HAIR TANTRUM
A sweet old lady comes out of the bathroom with her cane. A woman waiting for the bathroom has her back turned, and is blocking the path. The old lady raps her cane on the wood floor twice and stares intently at the customer's back. She raps twice again, nothing. She begins to pound the floor repeatedly until the woman blocking her turns her head slightly and steps to the side.

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3.10.04 GOTH TALK
Stumbled across a goth grooming guide. Number 5 is a classic. From "Makeup Tips for the Bleak":

5. If you have scars on your wrists from suicide attempts, by all means display them proudly. The same goes for bruises, cuts, and track marks. Abscesses, however, should always be coyly veiled in filmy black fabric.

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3.09.04 LUNCH OPTIONS
Sign for a country store outside of Woodland, California:

Burgers
Mexican Food
Live Bait

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3.08.04 HOTEL CHANGE
Bryan dials the phone, and the man on the other end picks up. Bryan greets him with a voice a few octaves lower than usual:

What are you wearing?
(extended pause)
You're not Jeff, are you.

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3.04.04 OHMM
The yoga instructor at my new gym is named Howard.

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3.03.04 MIRROR, MIRROR
What is that?
You mean the guy with his T-shirt tucked into his sweatpants?
I mean the guy with his solar system T-shirt tucked into his sweatpants.
Seriously?
Yep.
How does that happen? How do you get to be a middle-aged man and think it's OK to leave the house like this?
Sometimes people fall through the cracks.

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3.02.04 CITY KID
This little boy is about three, just learning to talk and to count. He's naming everything we pass and counting objects as the bus drives along.

A truck!
A sidewalk!
A flag! Two flag! One, two, three, four flags!
(We pass the San Francisco City Hall where couples are just leaving their same-sex wedding ceremonies.)
A boy and a girl. ... No, a boy and two boy. Two boys.
A tree!

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3.01.04 PRIMARIES
B: We get to vote tomorrow!
Me: (monotone) I can't wait.
B: Hey! I don't make fun of things you're excited about.
Me: I'm sorry. I get to exercise my voting rights! Tomorrow I will use the power of my ballot to increase the common good!
B: I don't know.
Me: I lost you at common good.
B: Yeah.

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