Mighty Girl
My face.


contact: maggie at mightygirl dot net

Favorite Posts
Archives
About
Racy Shirts for Sale
Subscribe to my feed


You'll also find me here:
Mighty Goods
My Photos on Flickr
ReadyMade Magazine Blog
The Morning News

I read:
Bryan Mason
Alice
Heather Armstrong
Matthew Baldwin
Sarah Brown
Heather Champ
Matt Haughey
Eden Kennedy
Jason Kottke
Lori
Megan
Merlin Mann's 5ives
Obscure Store and Reading Room
Post Secret
Andrea Scher
Melissa Summers
Evany Thomas

9.28.04 BELIEF SYSTEM
Five things painted on the van parked near the panhandle:
  • NO CLASS, NO MIND, NAZI NETWORK
  • 3 Ps: PROHIBITION, PIGS, PUSSY
  • LARRY FLYNT FOR GOVERNOR
  • EAT PUSSY, NOT COW
  • YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN RETARDED


link to this post



9.28.04 LOST YOU
John Adams, please report to the front desk.

link to this post



9.27.04 THE SAVAGE BEAST
In the museum music room, the security guard is asleep in his chair.

link to this post



9.24.04 HI-LARIOUS
This little girl is standing on the sidewalk with her arms tied behind back. Her wrists are secured with a green nylon jump rope; she is about eight. It takes me a moment to figure out that this is a game, and not some freaky form of punishment being exacted by a missing adult. Her younger sister tries unsuccessfully to feed her sunflower seeds, and then doubles over laughing when the seeds fall on the pavement. This is why kids need backyards.

link to this post



9.23.04 OVERHEARD: BARFLIES AND HONEY
Scenario: Gina has locked herself in the bathroom at the Stone Crow on West 4th.

Girlfriend: Gina! Get out here!...GINA!... I am seriously going to kick your ass if you don't open this door... You're freaking me out...GEEEEENNNNAAA!
Female Bar Owner: How long has she been in there?
Girlfriend: About twenty minutes?
FBO: She had too much to drink?
Girlfriend: Oh yeah.
FBO: Gina, honey. You've gotta unlock the door.
Girlfriend: GINA! Let. Us. In.
FBO: If you don't unlock the door, I'm gonna have to call the police, and then they'll have to break the door in...
Girlfriend: GINA! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!
(The male bartender notices what's up and comes over to the door.)
Bartender: Her name is Gina?
Girlfriend: Yeah.
Bartender: (Adopts an incredibly soothing tone.) Gina, honey, I know you don't feel good. If you can just reach up and unlock the door, I can come in and take care of you... Just reach up and unlock the door, and I'll take care of everything...
Gina: Click!
Bartender: There you go.

link to this post



9.22.04 HUH
When I step into the elevator, it's empty. The air inside smells exactly like my first boyfriend.

link to this post



9.21.04 THEY'VE GONE WILD
Over dinner at a bachelorette party:

Woman 1: Well you know, before you're twenty-five you only have a 25 percent chance of conceiving every time you have sex. Then that drops to 15 percent after twenty-five.
Woman 2: Only a 10 percent drop? I'd think it would be more.
Woman 1: Well, there are only a few days a month when you can get pregnant at all, so we have our little calendar and we figure out the days.
Woman 3: You know, you can just get a Basal thermometer, and it measures when you'll be most fertile.
Woman 4: Best bachelorette party conversation ever.

link to this post



9.17.04 HISTORY
Four photos that make my throat catch:

Tiananmen
Birmingham
Johnson sworn in
Kent State


(from 100 Photographs that Changed the World, via Jason)

link to this post



9.16.04 OVERHEARD
Guy 1: People don't like to admit it.
Guy 2: Human experimentation works.

link to this post



9.15.04 ELSEWHERE
The Morning News just published my essay about working at the Democratic National Convention. It's called "Give Me a Sign." Please go read it.

link to this post



9.13.04 DEVIL IN THE DETAILS
My friend, Jenny Traig, recently published her very amusing childhood memoirs. The book is called Devil in the Details: Scenes from an Obsessive Girlhood, and you will like it. It's about her struggles with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that manifested itself as Scrupulosity, a kind of religious OCD. These are the best parts:

"Today the condition is common enough that there's a Scrupulous Anonymous group. I've never joined, so I can't tell you if they subscribe to all twelve steps or if they just repeat one step over and over."

"After a perfectly pleasant exchange with a great aunt, I'd spend hours trying to recall whether or not I'd told her to go screw herself the hard way. I would beg my sister Vicky for reassurance. "You heard our conversation. Did anal sex come up at all? I know it sounds crazy, but I think aunt Rose may have raised the issue."

"Like many girls who don't get asked out in high school, I spent my teenage years believing I was a displaced European. It was so obvious I'd been born in the wrong country, what with me having such sophisticated Continental sensibilities and all. As soon as I was old enough, I told myself and anyone who would listen, I was moving to a country where my unconventional looks, difficult charms, and erratic hygiene would be appreciated."

link to this post



9.10.04 HUH
At the season-opening softball tournament in St. George, Utah, no one is allowed to bring beer onto the field. In the late morning, a few men gather around an open car trunk in the parking lot. They are friends of Bryan's father, and he says hello as we pass.

Bryan's Dad: Havin' a little breakfast?
Guy holding beer: Well, no. We had breakfast back at the hotel.
Bryan's Dad: Oh... OK.

link to this post



9.10.04 GENTRIFIED
When the sidewalk guitar busker gets a sound system, your neighborhood no longer qualifies as gritty.

link to this post



9.8.04 GOT IT
There is a bongo player on the sidewalk, and a woman has stopped to dance. She has only one leg.

She raises her arms above her head, hitting the air with each beat, bending at the knee and bumping her rear to the music. She's an excellent dancer.

All of us crane our necks to watch. The two young men next to me let out low whistles. "Damn," one of them says. "She got it."

link to this post



9.2.04 LITTLE MYSTERIES
The morning after Fruity Drink Night, our kitchen is crawling with ants.

Me: Glah! Where did all of these ants come from?
Bryan: Could it be the simple syrup on the counter?
Me: Or maybe the open container of confectioner's sugar?
Bryan: Or the chunks of watermelon.
Josh: Or perhaps it was the Purina Ant Chow.

link to this post



9.1.04 OVERHEARD: IN THE END, GIRLS MARRY KYLE
Scenario: A well-dressed girl in the parking garage waits for the valet as she talks on her cell phone. She is in distress.

So he's like, "It's my opinion. Do you want me to change my opinion?" And I'm like, "No. That's your opinion. Keep it. Fine." So he's all, "It's nothing personal." And I'm like, "It's law school, of course it's personal." You know. Like, are you not getting the logic here?...

Exactly. I mean, when he was looking for a job, I was so supportive, you know?...

Exactly....

Kyle, you don't even know. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me right now?...

Dude! It's just, it's just... I don't even know.

link to this post



Powered by Blogger